There had been trouble with the local authorites on our holiday abroad in the summer, and we'd been arrested by the police and accused of being spies. They were going to keep us there, hinting at interrogation and beatings. Suddenly I had been brought out of my cell and told I was being deported. Mom was being detained. They allowed us a last conversation, in which Mom told me she'd somehow made an agreement, that they would leave me out of it and deport me back home. She became evasive when I asked what was going to happen to her. She hugged me and told me not to worry, she would show them there was nothing wrong and she would be home soon. Naturally I was afraid. That country didn't have a great humanitarian record, and there had been some reports of the use of torture by the police, even on innocent people they had chosen to detain.I was worrying and panicking, and I pleaded with her to let me stay, I would help protect her and liase with the Embassy there, the home government. She surely didn’t think I’d believe that. Besides, I didn’t really need to know. I had his wallet.She continued blithely, “And I don’t really want the police involved. I’d have to testify and I don’t think I’d be able to take that.”“You’d prefer to leave a rapist out on the street, free to rape some other woman? You’re such a strong woman, already a survivor of an assault. I have no doubt that you’d get all the support you needed, and possibly even be allowed to testify on camera so you wouldn’t have to see him. That’s what they do for children who have suffered assaults. You’re stronger than a child, surely.”That was a low blow. I knew that women were sometimes reluctant to testify against someone who had assaulted them, and they had all my sympathies. But I knew that my wife was lying and if I got the police involved things would get way out of her control. She was never going to allow that. She was trying to control me and my reactions were worrying her – which was what I wanted..
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